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6/6/06 11:37 am - Edo Versus Zai + Glitter.

fullmetal_edo_elric: ZaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiLuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuffllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly. <3.
rabidartistofdeath: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. <3
fullmetal_edo_elric: -Pounce!-
rabidartistofdeath: -Fall!-
fullmetal_edo_elric: -Sits atop for victory pose!-
rabidartistofdeath: -Squeeeak. Tugs down and NOOGIES.-
fullmetal_edo_elric: -Gyacks! Wonders if Zai is in league wth Taisa now?! Noooooo! Flails and bites at her rib!-
rabidartistofdeath: -Squeals hard and flaps a bit! Is likely so without knowing it. Musses up dear Edo's hair >D-
fullmetal_edo_elric: -Closes an eye to try and avoid the flapping then grunts out, whining as his precious hair is messed up! Quickly goes to fix it.-
rabidartistofdeath: -Smiiiiiirks.- Atleast I didn't sprinkle glitter in it, ne?
fullmetal_edo_elric: -Huffs and flops against.- You had better not!
rabidartistofdeath: -Drops afew speks in it.- Oh, no,n evarr. -Supports!-
fullmetal_edo_elric: ....!!!!! ! -Whines and flicks them out of his hair quickly.-
rabidartistofdeath: -Griiiin. Proceedes to do this some more~-
fullmetal_edo_elric: ......-Ticmark. Pushes hem out of his hair again.-
rabidartistofdeath: -Giggling so hard inside that it HURTS. Finally lets a cackle out.-
fullmetal_edo_elric: -Continues his pariless battle with the sparkles!-
rabidartistofdeath: -..Drops a whole HANDFUL.-
fullmetal_edo_elric: ...! AUGH!
rabidartistofdeath: -Fluffs dahling Edo's hair up. Just to mix it all together.- Shiney glitter fairy!
fullmetal_edo_elric: ...I AM NOT A GLITTER FAIRY! -Flails around, trying to get the glitter out which sparkles, baking him look all Bishie-like.-
rabidartistofdeath: -Snaps some pictures, to post up on the intermanet later, before shining a light up behind him.- Yes you are!
fullmetal_edo_elric: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! -Flails around, trying desperately to get the glitter off. It sparkles even more, making it look like one of those uke bishounen parts in an Anime.-
rabidartistofdeath: -TIPS over backwards, mirth having snatched onto her with a grip like that of a thousand.. Gluey things!- Edo the Uke Glitter Fairy! Heee!
fullmetal_edo_elric: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! -Slips off his coat and uses it to rub against his hair like a towel in attempts to get rid of the glitter once and for all.- ZAAAAAI!
rabidartistofdeath: -Raised the camera up into the air to take more crooked pictures, cheering for the now coatless Edo.- Make the fans happy, boi!
fullmetal_edo_elric: .......-Ticmarks again then flails around, getting even more annoyed and more angry at the situation.- NANDAIYOOOOOOOO?!?!
rabidartistofdeath: -Claps a hand over her mouth to hide a grin. Obviously failing miserably, but ah well, 's the thought that counts!- I should make this a live feed >DD -Snickercackle-
fullmetal_edo_elric: Zai! You do and I swear I'll transmute you into a a GrammarNazi!Toaster!
rabidartistofdeath: -Squeakus! Shoves the camera down her shirt..but still points it outwards.- This means my toast will have dictionary entrys on it!
fullmetal_edo_elric: .....-Gape.- You're cruel.... T_T

3/3/06 01:18 am - Work please...?

Screen Is Black.
[NARRATOR]: What if you had it all?
-FADE IN: Pan to Roy and Edward looking at each other with hands held as Roy slides a ring onto Edward's finger.
[NARRATOR]: A loving fiancée...
-WHITE Transition to Alphonse and Edward high fiving and grinning at each other. Pinako, Den and Winry in the background.
[NARRATOR]: A loving family...
-FADE TO BLACK
[NARRATOR]: But you gave it all away to save someone close to you...?
-WHITE FLASH to a transmutation going severely wrong. Same as when they were children, only Edward is much older.
-FADE to Edward being shoved through the gates and stumbling out the other side - looking back at where he came from over his shoulder. PoV.
-FADE TO BLACK-
[NARRATOR]: ... Again?
[ROY VOICEOVER] Edward?! ALPHONSE?!
[RIZA VOICE OVER] Sir! FullMetal is nowhere to be found!
-HEAD SHOT OF ALPHONSE: Al opens his eyes suddenly. "NIISAN?!?"
-CUT. ZOOM IN on Edward's Jacket. Trail of blood drops from coat to center of the transmutation circle.
[NARRATOR]: What if You thought you had it all figured out...
[EDWARD]: Turns slowly then waves frantically "Roy!"
[TAISA]: .. Who are you?! Identify yourself!
[EDWARD]: "..Roy... It's me...
-FADE TO BLACK-
[EDWARD]: "...Edward."
[NARRATOR]: When in fact, you had it all wrong?
[EDWARD]: "PLEASE ROY! I.. I LOVE YOU!"
[TAISA]: "For the last time Edward, NO YOU DON'T! That is NOT my Name and I have NEVER met you until the day at the lake so how you could POSSIBLY love me?!'
-PAN/ZOOM Past [HAVOC][ROY]-
[HAVOC]: You need to let it go...
[ROY]: *Winces and glares away.
-CUT-
[ALPHONSE]: NO! MY BROTHER ISN'T DEAD!
-ZOOM OUT-
[ROY]: NO!!!!
-PAN UPWARDS FROM [ENVY]'S ANKLES TO HIS CHEST.-
[ENVY]: So... They thought they could escape to this side, could they??
[EDWARD]: THIS ISN'T MY HOME!
-SIDE VIEW OF [TAISA]-
[TAISA]: "... I'm sending you to the South. Once there, you are to never contact me again."
[EDWARD]" "...WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!'
-FADE TO BLACK-
[NARRATOR]: What would you sacrifice...
-FADE IN TO MILITARY SCENE [EDWARD] COMES INTO VIEW IN A MILITARY UNIFORM. Upper Body Shot, Side View.
[ROY]: "...Edward?"
[NARRATOR]: To take it all back?
-FADE TO BLACK-
[ALPHONSE]: (In a whisper) "..Where are you, Niisan...?"
[TITLE]

1/27/06 08:09 pm - The Kid Speaks.

(FMA AMV to come to this eventually. http://s10.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0UIEGWAKBNH8V36104Z3JUOR4E )

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Trisha Elric:

Don't be so hard on yourself.
Those tears are for someone else.
I hear your voice on the phone.
I hear you feel so alone.
My baby.
Ohh my baby.
Please my baby,
My baby,

Alphonse Elric:
When we were young,
And truth was paramount.
We were older then,
And we lived our life without any doubt.
Those memories,
They seem so long ago.
What's become of them? When you feel like me I want you to know.

Trisha Elric:
Don't cry.
You're not alone.
Don't cry,
Tonight, my baby.
Don't cry,
You'll always be loved.
Don't cry,
Tonight.
My baby.

Edward Elric:
Today I dreamed,
Of friends I had before.
And I wonder why.
The ones who care don't call anymore.
My feelings hurt.
But you know I overcome the pain.
And I'm stronger now,
There can't be a fire unless there's a flame.

Trisha Elric:
Don't cry.
You're not alone.
Don't cry,
Tonight, my baby.
Don't cry.
You'll always be loved.
Don't cry oh...

Alphonse Elric:
Limousines and sycophants,
Don't leave me now,
Cause I'm afraid what you've done to me.
Is now the wolf.
In my bed,
In my head.
In my head.
In my head.
The challenges, we took were hard enough.
They get harder now.
Even when we think that we've had enough.
Don't feel alone,
Cause it's I you understand.
I'm your sedative,
Take a piece of me whenever you can.
Don't cry.... you're not alone.
...don't be so hard on yourself...

Trisha Elric:
Don't cry.... tonight my baby
...Those tears are for.....someone else...
Don't cry.... you'll always be loved

Edward Elric:
...I hear your voice on the phone...

Trisha Elric:


Don't cry.... tonight sweet baby
...I hear you feel... so alone.
Don't cry... don't cry... don't cry... don't you cry...
Cry... Don't cry...
Cause you still be loved
Don't cry
Don't cry tonight
Ohh..
My baby my baby my baby my baby my baby my baby my baby
my baby my baby my my baby my baby my baby my baby mymy baby my baby my baby
My baby....
Don't cry tonight
You'll still be loved

1/6/06 06:18 am

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I woke up screaming this morning. Screaming and reaching for someone who's no longer there.

...Where are you? I miss you Taisa....

I'm sorry.... I... M-Mnh...

11/3/05 10:39 am - Tests Posts For Those Who Were Curious.

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It started with a dull roar upon the blurred horizons of the burning sky in the sunset of another night just outside the red flickers of Cosmo Canyon. A wake of dust clouds swirled up behind a slick motorcycle that cut through the fading light upon the ground, a figure hunched over to control the beast. 'C'mon Fenrir...' the man thought to himself as he had been staring blankly forward, traveling towards his newest destination with what seemed to be his only friend in the world.

Mako-infected cerulean eyes stared forward through goggles that fit snugly across a slender and handsome face. Not that many would know unless the fierce blonde spikes that whipped back and forth, flailing in attempts to reassume their natural wild positions were to uncover most of it. But that's how he liked it. The hair - when standing still - usually casted a dark shadow upon the gentleman's face now-a-days, now that after-the-fact of saving the world, the man no longer wanted to be recognized.

Had he done the right thing? Had he truly saved the world from his insane Puppet Master? He himself hardly noticed anymore. He figured the planet was angry with him, casting a dark and horrid disease into his left arm that he chose to keep hidden. But that was Cloud, always drifting, always hiding. A lone wolf of sorts, and that was the animal he had come to know.

He had taken the symbol with deep loyalty, his shoulder-plate upon his left shoulder that connected a half trench coat was marked with the head of a wolven figure - in the mouth was a silver ring of loyalty. A symbol that had come to represent the ex-mercenary... The 'would-be' ex-SOLDIER member. Aha. Could he even call himself that anymore? Hardly. He had reduced himself to a mere delivery boy.

Strife zoned out from his self doubt thoughts and glanced up in time to notice that in his drifting mind he had forgotten there was a cliff's edge awaiting to greet him. He grunted in a sudden shock, yanking his wrist back on the handle to suddenly drag the bike with the breaks. Fenrir roared and jerked forward before it slowed down suddenly, leaving deep slashes in the red dirt to slow down the momentum. Fearing he wasn't going to make it, he suddenly yanked his body-weight to the side, turning the massive machine completely on it's side to help the wheels grip the ground below.

Stopping and putting a foot down just at the edge of the drop off, he glanced over the edge and lifted both eyebrows slightly in a 'huh...' sort of fashion. The half coat that had been whipping about settled to the side of his body - the single coat-sleeve that covered his left arm fluttered to rest once more against his toned yet seemingly hurt limb. He bad been babying that arm lately, cradling it to his stomach when he could and glaring upon it when it caused him an unknown pain.

The mark of the World's Anger... Star Scar... Better known as Geostigma had infected him, a secret that kept him away from the orphanage he had taken refuge with an old friend of his. Either way he kept is covered, leaving his other arm bare and exposed up to the leather gloves that covered his wrists down.

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It hadn't even been upon the brink of winter, yet so far North, large tracks were imprinted upon the crystal snow fields. Pads of a large breed animal were heard drumming along the ground in a three-beat rhythmic matter that broke the silence of the gentle falling slow; pants of the beast aided the sounds as the breath of the creature lingered upon the crisp evening air yet to the human eye...

The sounds of a wolf didn't match as there wasn't one around at all... But a mere teenage boy sprinting as if his life depended upon it. Dressed in plain sneakers and blue jeans, a white plain t-shirt, and a leather jacket the male figure seemed to move too swiftly and almost ungodly, as if he were propelled by more than just his two slender legs.

Fist-clenched hands swung with his arms to help thrust his human figure forward yet if one were to pay attention, every time his two feet hit the ground - there was a faint sound of three steps, like an echo of a third foot was flirting with the sounds of the dead plains. It hardly made sense at all.... But that wasn't the only thing strange.

Why was a teenage boy outside in the bitter cold? He looked almost wild, like a runaway. Chocolate brown hair that was nearly shoulder-length fluttered every-which-way, but his speeds were causing unnatural winds around his body which forced the tresses backwards. Through the whipping locks, blue-gray.... almost.... dull eyes pierced through the falling night yet that wasn't what was truly there.

A wolf. A Wolven. Those creatures of folklore that humans thought no longer existed. They had plagued their minds with too many sadistic stories of Little Red Riding Hood - the rumor of wolves being deadly and nothing more than mass murderers grew thick in the air, solid in towns. There wasn't a place that Kiba couldn't go where he had to take on this demeaning and disloyal figure of his pride. His wolf pride. He hadn't even wanted to take this form of some sort of caucasian male... a trick of Wolf's Magic for the humans.

Because they were naive. They would have seen a boy running out in the middle of nowhere yet any other animal with that sort os Sixth Sense would have known better. The rapping of three paws hitting the ground was truthfully Kiba - the White Wolf. The wolves that would lead all wolves to Paradise, that's what he was searching for after all. A pure white wolf that even made the snow below him seem tainted.... not quite as pure as the wolf it so dared to try and freeze in its icy clutch.

The eyes in fact were not blue and gray of a humans, but almond-shaped and that of a wolf's..... bright sunfire yellow and indeed very much wild. He had never been tamed - caught..... but not tamed. Kiba knew of tame wolves and used to look down upon them - even if he, himself, used to travel with an Indian's Clan..... his old pack.... Of humans.

But they were different in his eyes. Compared to those humans that lingered around Tsume, Toboe and Hige - his humans were one with nature. They had that sixth sense and took Kiba in for what he was. A wolf. Not this stupid outfit that he has to masquerade in to stay alive while looking for her.....

Her.... The one of the flowers. The scent was strong - even in the winds around him. His powerful nose could smell her. It was the Flower Maiden that he barely knew of her name yet seemed to want to protect her at all costs. She was the key... She was the key to the Wolf's Paradise. Ahh.... The idea of Paradise always made his coat bristle excitedly - more or less goose-bumps in a human's fashion. Although.... Somewhere in the last town he had lost his new-found pack of misfits and his Flower Maiden, Cheza.

Could Darcia have gotten to them first? Hn...... A man that wanted to become a wolf. NOW he had heard of it all. But that didn't matter as long as his 'friends' and Cheza were alright.

Narrowing his eyes, the wolf suddenly slowed down and skidded to a stop by locking his powerful legs and sliding in the snow until he gave a faint prancing jump out of the four awkward dents in the thick frozen liquid and land gracefully atop. Massive paws carried him to the edge of the top of the canyon, down below was the next town over as he had been instructed - he felt fatigued but he would have never shown it. He couldn't let Pops and Hubb (Who had been in hot pursuit of the wolves to obtain Blue) catch up to him.

Thick ears swiveled forward in curiosity as he glanced down and took a good, long, hard look towards the town. A black nose twitched, picking up the scents of the humans - yet there was a faint scent of the Midnight flowers and his scruffy pack of rejects.

A villager glanced up to see a boy standing tall and almost proud atop the canyon walls, glaring down at the city but not with a mean look at all. His face was innocent - his eyes showed wisdom beyond his years. Maybe that's why Kiba was the quiet one of the group? Ahh, it didn't much matter. He was there to find his wolves and his flower - he would take the human form for as long as needed.

No matter how much it hurt his sense of pride as a wolf, Hige had been ride about one thing... Better to appear human than to be recognized as a wolf in this world.

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The Child's Prodigy - that of which children all over the world strived and idoled, saying they would grow up to be just like Edward Elric. That would have been fine and dandy and all... if they had known the true story of the kid. Sure he sacrificed two limbs in attempts to make up for one big mistake, misunderstanding..... Call it whatever you wanted. Edward had fucked up - and he had paid the ultimate price for it. Well.... Not the ultimate... But he had lost enough to shape up and go upon a never-ending quest to find the one stone believed to be able to make all of his mistakes right again.

It sounded perfect. It was a great plan. He and his loyal brother Alphonse would travel and find this stone, fix things and be out of the Military he had decided he MUST join within two clicks. That was five years ago. Five years ago when a twelve year old was full of ambition and spirit, ready to conquer anything to bring his brother's body back.

Edward was now seventeen. His old uniform that didn't want to give up barely seemed to fit - the collar of his shirt was no longer clasped yet he still adorned his red coat. After all that had been through it wasn't his original of course. But another coat that Izumi tailored for him to make up for the ripped to shreds red fabric that used to symbolize Edward in the military.

Sure he still wore it, he refused to get into that military dress-up junk... He would be no better then that damned Mustang. Ugh. A strange relationship he had come to have with the man though. Nothing intimate, mind you - it simply wouldn't have been. A guardian more or less. Roy had become Edward's older brother in his eyes. A person that no matter how much he tried to claw down and wipe that damn smug smile off the bastard's face, he would go to and talk..... When they had their nice moments.

Ahh but they never lasted long. Mustang would find something to say that he could tie into the conversation to attack Edward's height and the kid would lose it as always. He had become more mature, but his temper was still a mere switch, a deadly flaw that the kid hadn't overcome.

No, Edward still had a problem swallowing the fact that he was a bit smaller than his co-workers. It never dawned on him that he was still growing and they, by now, were in their thirties. Nope. In his eyes he was a man. He had been since the day he set a torch to his house and walked away without looking back by the side of his armored brother. He had made a promise and he wouldn't go back on his word.

Nothing would stop Edward! He would prevail and get his brother's body back! Not even Death or the Homunculi or the Military could stop him! He was invincible! He was flawless! He was..... hungry!

"Arrrrghhh!!" A tenor voice cried out as a slender body flopped down on a barstool upon a outdoor restaurant, much like those in Liore, he thought. "... Damnit, Al... We've been chasing our tails on this case all around town and the only thing I've gotten from it is an empty stomach..." He grinned almost stupidly at himself s his arms were stretched out over the bar top - sprawled on his chair with a pathetic look upon his slender face.

He may have been Seventeen, but for a kid that wasn't allowed to have a childhood and grow up properly, he still had a few priorities that he needed to work out. While his braid flopped over a shoulder in such a position, he blinked when there was no clank of armor sounding off next to him. He had gotten used to the sound and truth be told he felt awkward when he didn't hear it. ".... Al?" Golden orbs curiously glanced to the side and over his shoulder before they turned into a flat-browed expression - half way in the middle of pointing out his order.

Sure as hell, his brother was lagging behind - petting some child's cat. Damn cat.... Edo hated them. Why? Their claws of course! Ugh.. Stupid, useless things.... yet his brother seemed so in love with the furrballs that he often found himself surrounded in them. It wasn't the cats though that made him angry when he saw them... It was a memory he had of one he tried to save.... and Mother said they couldn't. He gave a sigh then shook his head. "Yo, Alphonse! Don't get too attached to it!" He called out yet was completely distracted as a bowl of steaming food was placed before him.

Glimmering hues widened slightly before he grinned and snatched up the chopsticks in his left hand and the bowl in his right. A soft clinking noise was heard when the glove-covered fake limb gripped the bowl in which he urked faintly. Ahh, he would never get used to that sound though.

Inhaling and seeming to pause in his complete movements - like Mustang had been fooling with the Edovision Remote Control again - he quickly dipped his head down and started shoveling the contents of the bowl in his face, more or less his gaping mouth with the chopsticks in a quick manner - scarfing and soon forgetting that his brother had been playing with another cat. Oh well. Least that one belonged to someone and would be tucked away in Alphonse's armor, right? Right. Damn this was good.

10/10/05 04:41 pm

A flesh hand clenched into a fist at the long pausing silence that loomed over the room. Ugh.... He waited... as if it were the plague at this doorstep, waiting to slice his throat and deny him home again. Although faint gasp of air was heard drawn into the boy's lips as he glanced up, blinking slowly at the General before him. He swallowed hard, making sure that he heard the man right as he calculated the answer over and over. A slow sile crept over his face as the cold stare left the boy for a brief moment. ".. Understood sir." He stated then closed his eyes to tilt his head down a bit, hiding a growing smirk on his face out of happiness. ".... Thank you, Taisa." It was a full appreciation, a happiness that he didn't think he would get to feel again. "....There is a Transporter Car awaiting outside.... I'll await for you there if that's alright, Sir." He sounded much more full of spunk suddenly, ready to go and ready to get the hell home again. Afterall, the sooner He and The Flame arrived, the sooner the War woudl end and the sooner They would get to go home. That was one thing that Edward wanted to fight for.

9/29/05 01:59 am - A Quick Moment From The Player

And bam. At this very moment I'm... just following Duo and Craig's advice and just flat out telling her. Why should it be a secret? We shouldn't have to keep them from each other, right? .... Yeah, right. I couldn't even take five minutes out of this conversation to talk to Hunter who called me - just wanting to talk. My mind is elsewhere, somehow wishing a gun would just magically appear to splatter my gray matter around so I didn't have to deal with the aftermath of this. But what aftermath? Gyah. I've never felt so small and helpless. I hate opening up to people. And yet here I am, huh? Confessions of A Dangerous Mind to someone who could rip me apart without even blinking. But she knew. She's smart. I never put it past her that she wouldn't have thought that maybe it was her that I had been speaking of. Hah, I'm shaking. Brilliant.

I've always been so smooth and levelheaded with emotions all my life. And BAM. A deck to the face with stupidity from the moment I met her. A complete and utter blank as to what to say. Kept calm and nonchalant around her for the longest time as if nothing mattered. And back then it really didn't. I watched people oogle over her and just laughed at them and their stupidity. She's completely above them.....And here I am. One of them. God I love my life; Ha....ahah... *Facepalms.*

It's a modern day Grease. Good girl meets Bad Girl sort of thing. Argh. I shouldn't even be typing this out. He'll read it. She'll read it. And then I'll just be fucked either way, now won't I? *Grumbles and rubs her head firmly.* Mnh. Don't Cry..... Please don't cry..... not over this.... Not over anything.... Your tears aren't worth falling.

Hah. Maybe I'm shaking because I'm cold. I think I'll keep telling myself that, whatever helps me sleep at night, right? Right. And yet I can't stop smiling. That bitter taste on your lips the one that no matter how hard you swallow, it won't go away - no matter how much water you drink, you throat is still dry.

Aaahah I am such a bitch. A jerk that's surrounded by wonderful people yet I can't get myself together so I end up hurting those I love more than life itself. That in itself makes me a horrible person. Argh... Frustration.

.. I guess now I know why I worked so hard to let Edo get so close.... I guess I just wanted a piece of you to myself, even if it was through a stupid game. Everyone that knows me that well knew before I did. .... And yet... I still smile. Because it's out in the open. No more Secrets from you....Except You're Still a Jerk-Face. *Grins*

Well... Now that all the cards on the table, I'll say this once more, just for the record.

I think I could love you too.

But let's not dwell on that, shall we? I think she and I have had quite enough dished out to think about for tonight.

9/12/05 12:54 pm

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To my loved ones ~

This will reflects the last wishes of Marik Serquet Ishtar and shall be granted upon his death to those listed below.

Malik Ishtar - Sennen Rod, Clothes, furniture, bedroom belongings.
Silver Bakura - They key to the Silver box upon the dresser.
Maliku - All Jewely including Cuffs, earrings, etc.
Ishizu Ishtar - Egyptian Platinum ring, Custom Jaded Dagger.
Akifa - Sennen Scale

Name: Marik Serquet Ishtar
Born: 8:02pm December 9th, 300B.C.
Died: 4:58am September 9th, 2005 A.C.
...
...
...
...
...
Revived: October 19th, 2005 A.C.

8/19/05 11:17 am




ATTN: L.C. Mustang, Flame Alchemist.
Central HQ: #492785660
STATUS: URGENT: SOUTH

Tai~
I sent the letter sounding as if it had any importance at all, knowing full well that you would merely shrug off the envelop and put it upon that desk of paperwork of yours and forget about it in due time.... Like other certain things that you've done that to.
I hope that you are having a blast in central, that your life is finally perfect and nothing is in your way anymore. You're on your way to becoming Brigadier..... Congratulations, Flame. But that is not why I'm writing this damn letter to you, oh no. I just wanted to inform you, The Flame Alchemist, of what sort of death you sentenced me too down here.
You just had to keep breaking that promise, didn't you...? The promise to not hurt me intentionally... I could forgive the first time Tai, but this..... I could never forgive you for sending me here. I can't ever forgive you for sending me to a place that has turned me into the one thing I never wanted to be.
They tried to cut off my braid, Roy. Seven men injured later trying to hold me down I curled up in a corner, backed up there before a Lieutenant stopped the riot. They shredded my coat, put me in a god damn military uniform. Why did you send me to the south, Taisa? Why did you send me to the god damn bottom most tight-ass military base this entire god forsaken place has?!
Was it to protect me? Send the boy to a military hell-hole because he'll be safe there.. From who, Roy? YOU?! I would rather be in Central fighting with you then here living this day in and day out. But no. Sending me here was the quickest escape you had to run away from a problem.
That's TWICE you've broken that promise, Roy Mustang. Twice you've hurt me and not even so dared as flinch. You didn't even have the respect of our 'friendship' or ask how I was doing or even glance down here. Just turned the other god damn cheek..... You haven't even contacted me. And don't give me this bullshit of how you're busy... With what? Paperwork?!
If you were so eager to get rid of me because I was a problem that you felt you couldn't handle then you should have just snapped your damn fingers! It's not like it would have mattered about that promise then... Seems you don't even care about it. A Man should keep his word, remember? ...Wasn't that what the hell you were preaching to me that night? Spoon-feeding me bullshit to think you cared?! Well let me tell you, you obviously can't keep your word..... You'll fit right in with those bigwigs of the Military... Lying left and right....
Damnit Roy why did you keep me around for so long?! Why?! Cheap amusement? You were lonely? Obviously not, you HAVE a fiancée after all. I was just a toy to you.... Something you felt pity for like a small child does with an animal when it's raining outside.
Friends.... comrades... They shouldn't ever abandon each other... EVER! I suppose I was wrong about having a friendship with you, too....? You were my home damnit. The one person who hadn't kicked me to the curb and actually showed me that someone could supposedly give a damn... What a slap in a face, huh? Damn, I was sure wrong about that one, wasn't I?!
Sending me here without a blink of an eye! You didn't even flinch, all you did was preach on about how you were being a good friend and saving ME from YOU! .....And I believed you. I.... I didn't give a fight back or a fuss..... because it was what you wanted.... To get me out of Central. Havoc tells me you're just fine and dandy now. Chipper cheerful.... more so then he's ever seen you before. ... And all the while I was actually dumb enough to believe that you cared and that's why you sent me here...
But after the goddamn abuse here.... The beatings, the haircut, the uniform..... your broken promises burning in the back of my head... I can't believe I trusted you. I can't believe I loved you.... How foolish of me. You had me right where you wanted me the whole time and when you were bored of it or I became an inconvenience... You sent me to the one place you KNEW you would never see me again....
.....Think of this as your parting gift from me, Mustang. At least I always kept my promises with you. Every one of them..... And now I promise you this..... I hate you, Taisa..... I hate you for sending me here, for breaking me! For hitting me and abusing me! I hate you for your smug smile and I hate you for how you just used me...... I hate you for loving you. I hate you for not being able to be a man and face your problem face on.... I hate you for being a coward and just abusing your power to ship away the things that upset you......
.......If I never see you again it'll be too soon. I hope it was all worth it for you.... Because while you're in Central having just alleviated any last bad thing from your life.... I'm here dying inside because you were 'protecting me from you'. ....Thanks, Jerk-Face. I feel the god damn love of protection down here.... I can see how much you really gave a damn.

Love always,

Edward Elric
The FullMetal Alchemist

With that a few parts of the patter and ink seemed to be splattered with water..... no. No, they were dried drops of tears.

7/26/05 10:51 am - Get To Know Your Muses:

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Missing Icons:

Dark
Lokitan
Haru
Link
Plus a few billion others... x_X

7/26/05 10:27 am - Mnnnh....



......Roy's been gone a lot more lately. And... I know he's been busy I mean.... Sure we're all busy.... But it seems like the only time he ever wants to talk to me or ever comes to see me is if he..... wants something. And I don't mind giving it to him... don't get me wrong! I just.... mmnnh... It's not the same as it used to be.... Now I'm just business... I feel like his paperwork, he only does it when he HAS to.

Alphonse left back to Risembool for quite a while, he seemed like he needed a break from Central since we've been sort of stuck here for a long while now. I felt really lonely so I went to see Colonel and I just... started crashing at his place... Moved in after a while. He used to be such a jerk but I dunno... Lately he's been really sweet and calm around me.... like Roy used to be. I mean we've been having a lot of fun together, but word's around that Al's coming back so I'll be moving out of his place shortly. I bet the Colonel will be relieved that he doesn't have to worry about me invading his space anymore but still.... I... kinda don't want to move out y'know? I mean... It was just really nice to have that much fun and then fall asleep comfortably for once.

....I suppose I've grown soft against him too. But... Roy found out I was staying with another man that wasn't Alphonse... and he got really angry with me.....REALLY....... angry. I just don't know what to do...He wants to meet the Colonel..... But I can't let him... I couldnever let those two meet face to face... as protective as Roy is and as cocky as Colonel is.... it would just...... mnh....

I miss Russell too....god I miss him.... He left for Xenotime and I haven't seen him since he came to Central looking for me... I wonder whatever became of him and Fletcher....? ... Maybe I should go see him.... I could use a break from Central..... From everything.

Oh! I almost forgot! Colonel's fiancée is a natural alchemist! It's kinda cool although I've never personally seen her do alchemy. Her's name's... somethin' like Georgia Piper.... but everyone just calls her Geo. I guess she has a thing against the State Millitary though.... so I'm kinda hesitant to show her my watch, I mean.. I wouldn't want to upset her. But she's nice, she and the Colonel are cute together..... I'm happy for 'em.

6/27/05 04:36 am

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.......GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11


*Pants heavily then hangs his head low, snarling out. Either upper arm covered in banages as well as his right hand that looks to still be slightly bleeding.*

I give up.... I GIVE UP! No matter what I do Silver always ends up mad at me for a reason, well you know what?! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU ALL! I'M TIRED OF THIS PANSY BULLSHIT CALLED LOVE AND I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE USING IT AGAINST ME! FUCKING SICK OF IT DO YOU HEAR ME!?

So Sil and I got in nother fucking fight so I leave and crash at Ryou's for the night after beraking his mirror with my hand, why? BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU WHITE-HAIRED FUCKERS YOU'RE ALL IN LOVE WITH ME AND YOU ALL WANT MY ATTENTION YET WHEN I GIVE IT YOU GET ANGRY THAT YOU DIDN'T GET THE KIND OF ATTENTION YOU WANTED!!!!!!!

*Seethe*

Fuck this.... Just...AUGH! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!

WHAT
THE
FUCK
DO
YOU
WANT
FROM
ME?!?!?!?!????

6/15/05 02:29 pm

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~*~Interview With The Muses~*~*~
(Answer as your character)
Link To Picture:I'm the cute blonde above you.
Full Brith Name: Edward Jensen Elric
Alias:FullMetal
Brithplace:..........I don't want to think about it.
Curent Geographical Location:Central... Sometimes Xenotime
~*~*~Those Around You~*~*~
Family:Alphonse, my younger brother.
Friends:Russell and Fletcher, Winry, Hawkeye, Havoc, Zai, Lusty, Enveh, Envyness, Wrathy Hughes, Elysia.... Nina.....
Marital Status:On and Off Dating: Roy Mustang
-Mate Preferences-
Male or Female?Male
Long or Short Hair?Shorter hair?
Racial Preference (if any)?Not really.
Perfect date:*Shrug*
-What are Your Thoughts On..-
Children?They're... nice? I don't want any though.
The Public As A Whole?The public is fine, it's the millitary you should be worried about...
Unlawful Behavior?I'll take them down!
Love?It's.... complicated.......
Religion?God hates me, besides, even if I did go up to heaven, he'd probably chase me away.
Destiny and Fate?... I don't believe in either.
One's Persuit of Personal Happiness?I don't care about myself, only Al....
~*~ About you ~*~
Where do you work:Millitary State Alchemist...
What do you do there:I'm a dog of the millitary... so it's whatever they decide they want me to do....
What Are Your Long-Term Goals:I completed my long term goal of helping Al... so I don't know...
What Are Your Short-Term Goals:......WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHORT-TERM?!
Special Skills (Trick, Instrument, ect.):I can transmute things without a transmutation circle, does that count?
Favorite Past-time:There are so many... but I guess.... my birthday party with Al, Nina, Hughes, Gracia.... Heh........
What is Your Worst Fear:Death..... and milk.. That stuff is gross.
Best Advice You Were Ever Given:"You can't go around trying to save every little lost cause, Edward! It's just not possible and it's not healthy!"
Favorite Thing to Say In Reponce:*Thumbs up, salute*
Your Personal/Favorite Quote:"Who you callin' so short that if stepped on they wouldn't be hurt cause they're small enough tof it inbetween the cracks of the shoes?!"
Your Best Physical Feature:...... I don't know.... People are infactuated with the scars near my automail though....
Your Favorite Artical of Clothing:My red duster!
Prize Possession:State Alchemist pocket watch....I guess. No wait... I take that back, it's Al's human body bak.
~*~*~ One Or The Other~*~*
Lead -or- Follow?Lead! I try.. but they usually make me follow....
Vintage -or- New?....As long as it works, right?
Top -or- Bottom?I uh..... Er...... Everyone likes to pin me...... so I don't know...
Half-Empty -or- Half-Full?Haf FullMetal? Har har.....oooookay that was a bad joke.....
Full Moon -or- New Moon?Full Moon.... It's lighter outside.
Night -or- Day?Ehhh both.
Sunny -or- Rainny Days?Sunny days remind me of mother....
Paper -or- Plastic?Metal?
Comedy, Drama, Action, or Horror flicks?....Not sure.
Forest, Ocean, Desert, or Moutain?Forest....

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

6/15/05 02:16 pm

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~*~Interview With The Muses~*~*~
(Answer as your character)
Link To Picture:*Points up.*
Full Brith Name: Heero Hotaru Yuy
Alias:01
Brithplace:Sakura, Japan
Curent Geographical Location:L1 Space Colony
~*~*~Those Around You~*~*~
Family:I suppose you could consider Barton, Winner and Chang family.
Friends:............
Marital Status:Engaged, Duo Maxwell.
-Mate Preferences-
Male or Female?Male
Long or Short Hair?Duo's Braid?
Racial Preference (if any)?American.
Perfect date:The night I asked Duo to marry me.
-What are Your Thoughts On..-
Children?No.
The Public As A Whole?No comment.
Unlawful Behavior?Omae O Korosu....
Love?I didn't think I could.
Religion?None.
Destiny and Fate?....There is no destiny, our fate as humans is to die... whatever happens before that is of our own creations.
One's Persuit of Personal Happiness?....I was not trained to make myself happy.
~*~ About you ~*~
Where do you work:L1
What do you do there:Gundam Pilot for Wing Zero
What Are Your Long-Term Goals:Settle down, spend the rest of my life with Duo.
What Are Your Short-Term Goals:Defeat this war and move on.
Special Skills (Trick, Instrument, ect.):...........
Favorite Past-time:.............Bennigans.
What is Your Worst Fear:Duo's Death.
Best Advice You Were Ever Given:"I suggest you shape up or I'll terminate you."
Favorite Thing to Say In Reponce:"......."
Your Personal/Favorite Quote:"Omae o Korosu"
Your Best Physical Feature:....My Eyes.
Your Favorite Artical of Clothing:A Silver wedding ring..... and a certain cross.
Prize Possession:Duo Maxwell
~*~*~ One Or The Other~*~*
Lead -or- Follow?Leader
Vintage -or- New?.........
Top -or- Bottom?Top, but ocassionally I'll let Duo have fun.
Half-Empty -or- Half-Full?On A Gundam Gas tank?
Full Moon -or- New Moon?New.
Night -or- Day?Night.
Sunny -or- Rainny Days?Rain
Paper -or- Plastic?Gundanium Alloy
Comedy, Drama, Action, or Horror flicks?Drama, Action.
Forest, Ocean, Desert, or Moutain?Mountains

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

6/15/05 02:00 pm

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~*~Interview With The Muses~*~*~
(Answer as your character)
Link To Picture:Look up.
Full Brith Name: Marik Serqet Ishtar
Alias:Twisted
Brithplace:Cairo, Egypt
Curent Geographical Location:Domino City, Japan
~*~*~Those Around You~*~*~
Family:Malik (Hikari), Ishizu (Half-Sister), Rishid (Half-Brother)
Friends:Akifa, Silver, TC and Ryou
Marital Status:Hell if I know.
-Mate Preferences-
Male or Female?Male
Long or Short Hair?Doesn't matter but most of my toys have long hair.
Racial Preference (if any)?None
Perfect date:..........
-What are Your Thoughts On..-
Children?Ugly.
The Public As A Whole?Whores
Unlawful Behavior?Fine by me.
Love?Fuck it.
Religion?Fuck that too.
Destiny and Fate?You're annoying me.
One's Persuit of Personal Happiness?Personally Happiness is nothing more than the want of making yourself feel better, you selfish smut.
~*~ About you ~*~
Where do you work:I don't.
What do you do there:Anything I fucking want to.
What Are Your Long-Term Goals:Become Pharaoh.
What Are Your Short-Term Goals:Woudln't you like to know?
Special Skills (Trick, Instrument, ect.): I have this uncanny habit of making people fall in love with me.
Favorite Past-time:I'd rather not share.
What is Your Worst Fear:Death in these mortal coils
Best Advice You Were Ever Given:"You're acting like a pussy, stop it."
Favorite Thing to Say In Reponce:"..I care why?"
Your Personal/Favorite Quote:"I don't love you the way you think I love you so just don't."
Your Best Physical Feature:Everyone has a strange liking to my tattoos.
Your Favorite Artical of Clothing:A necklace..... half full of sand....
Prize Possession:The Sennen Rod, bitch.
~*~*~ One Or The Other~*~*
Lead -or- Follow?Lead
Vintage -or- New?Doesn't matter.
Top -or- Bottom?Top, but Akifa likes me on bottom.
Half-Empty -or- Half-Full?What?
Full Moon -or- New Moon?Full
Night -or- Day?Night
Sunny -or- Rainny Days?Rain, they bring good luck.
Paper -or- Plastic?.....What?
Comedy, Drama, Action, or Horror flicks?What is a flick?
Forest, Ocean, Desert, or Moutain?Desert.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

6/15/05 01:56 pm

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~*~Interview With The Muses~*~*~
(Answer as your character)
Link To Picture:Tch I'm the Hot One On Top
Full Brith Name: Seto Jaden Kaiba
Alias:Seto, most just call me Kaiba
Brithplace:Unknown (Hey, I was adopted, give me a break.)
Curent Geographical Location:Domino City, Japan
~*~*~Those Around You~*~*~
Family:Mokuba and Noa, my brothers. My Step-father Gonzaburo who is dead.
Friends:Best friend is Joey, The rest of Yugi's Little Pack are pretty cool, too.
Marital Status:Dating a Princess (Aren't I a lucky fellow?)
-Mate Preferences-
Male or Female?Both
Long or Short Hair?Shorter hair?
Racial Preference (if any)?Not really
Perfect date:Geting shot was fun, wasn't it Joey? *Chuckle* Uhh I'd say when Téa and I went to the ballet and then the ocean....
-What are Your Thoughts On..-
Children?No comment.....
The Public As A Whole?Morons most of them... but a few are smart.
Unlawful Behavior?Depends on what they're doing.
Love?I didn't use to believe in it but now I'm not so sure.
Religion?Duel Monsters count?
Destiny and Fate?Don't give me this destiny and fate bullshit hard of the cards. I told Yugi once that if I had a penny for every time he said Destiny, I'd be richer then I am now.
One's Persuit of Personal Happiness?Whatever.
~*~ About you ~*~
Where do you work:CEO of Kaiba Corporation, surely you've heard of me.
What do you do there:.....I run the damn thing.
What Are Your Long-Term Goals:.......
What Are Your Short-Term Goals:.......
Special Skills (Trick, Instrument, ect.):Apparently I can make people kill themselves.
Favorite Past-time:None worth mentioning.
What is Your Worst Fear:That's none of your concern.
Best Advice You Were Ever Given:"Seto. You're a fuck-up and not worthy of being my son. Once you prove that you are good enough to be that, then I will stop treating you like a slave and treat you like a human."
Favorite Thing to Say In Reponce:"......"
Your Personal/Favorite Quote:"You Summoned an Elf and a CreamPuff..... Okay, but its your funeral."
Your Best Physical Feature:Everything.
Your Favorite Artical of Clothing:Most would think it's my coat, but it's actually the two necklaces I wear from Noa and Mokuba
Prize Possession:Suten, Bronte and Kotaru of course.
~*~*~ One Or The Other~*~*
Lead -or- Follow?Lead
Vintage -or- New?New
Top -or- Bottom?Both
Half-Empty -or- Half-Full?I never half anything half way.
Full Moon -or- New Moon?Doesn't matter
Night -or- Day?Night because then I'm off work.
Sunny -or- Rainny Days?Rain.
Paper -or- Plastic?Neither
Comedy, Drama, Action, or Horror flicks?Horror - Just because she's cute when she's scared.
Forest, Ocean, Desert, or Moutain?Ocean.

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

5/19/05 03:01 pm - How Could He....



Roy left for a week straight..... Al says I was in really bad shape but I was fine! Anyway..... The Colonel came back... badly beaten to the point of being bedridden...He was such a mess.... I used a cast on his arm to bandage it but I was thankful he was alive... I let him sleep the first night.. second night after work I found him reading a book so I went to talk to him... I ended up falling asleep in his arms.... Everything was perfect again...until I woke up clutching his sheets.... Roy was gone again... no word no good-bye no nothing.... If he's not going to be around then I'm not staying in Central!

I grabbed my things and went to mine and Al's room... Told Al to pack his things that we were leaving.....We've been on the road ever since just traveling around....Maybe we'll go see Winry or something...It's up to Alphonse really.. I'm just.... here to be here.


.....I just....


He said he loved me...

5/19/05 02:47 pm - Bleak Is The Day, Cold Is The Night



Ahh Marik Ishtar. After having Lost track of Silver's whereabouts for a good week he found the albino once more in which he kept a close eye on him. Silver left again in the night once Twisted decided it was safe enough to sleep..No longer knowing where Silver went again yet hearing that he went on a perosnal journey - Twisted made his way back to Akifa's and Ryou's hosue only to find out that Akifa.... upon the same day... was als taking a personal journey. Twisted rushed to the airport to say good-bye yet even in doing so, he couldn't watch the plane leave. Returning home, he found two messages from Akifa upon his answering machine which made the Egyptian Darkness collapse and lay heavily against the wall near the phone.

It would have been a while before Twisted pulled himself together yet he acted ruthless, annoyed and angry against the world. He showed no one mercy - not even his own Hikari. Through it all.... Twisted felt betrayed.... As if all in all there was nothing worth fighitng for since the two people that held his heart had simply walked out... one without even a good-bye.

Now.... the due date for Akifa's arrival draws near and there is no sign of Marik in Domino Anywhere. The plane ticket that was offered to him was almost used several times yet it sat idly upon he dresser near Marik's bed - collecting dust as it looked like it rom hadn't been used since the day everyone left....

What happened to the Yami? No one knows. He dissapeared the day after Sil and Kif did only taking the tape that held Kif's voicemail recordings, his picture collection and the Sennen Rod.

Twisted Status Report: MIA
betrayed

5/4/05 10:59 am - Angels Versus Demons, Demons Versus Angels - It's All The Same.



....My life... my old life was a blur. When I was first mortal.... yet God praised me... so much in fact that when I died fighting against the enemies... trying to save Duo Maxwell..... he made me an ArchAngel. For centuries I worked my way up in the ranks, never allowed to return to earth to become a Guardian Angel to Oni-Koi... You see... there are special requirements to be a guardian Angel... and since he was protected by Shinigami I couldn' have been able to watch over him. The other pilots have died.... and been reborn hundreds of time... each time living their lives peacefully with one another... While I.... I stayed in heaven with perfect white wings at God's side.... his top ArchAngel. Even the beautiful Gabriel who adored me from afar had to bow to be when I entered. I never cared for the attention and I always seemed to hurt Gabriel whenever I didn't return a glance, or a favor or I only said thank you to gifts that any other angel would swoon over.... Angels... are allowed to love Angels and you only become an Angel when you've lived your perfect life. I was a perfect Soldier.... that's what they called me in my mortal years. I loved the most beautiful man in the world... and he loved me. We were a perfect team, a perfect couple. He was my strength... my....perfect....strength. Duo... if... I would have known.... that I would have been taken away from you eternally... because you were so perfect and I was so perfect.... I would have flawed it somewhere.... Apparently I even died a valiant perfect death... It still plays in my head. Standing there behidn Duo who clung to my dead corpse, screaming out for me to come back.....Oh Oni-Koi.... I wanted to reach for you then....but I coundn't.... It was your Guardian Angel Demon.... Shinigami who was shaking, trembling when he realized who he had come for. He demanded to I go back.. but it was too late... he told me that he could try and get me back alive... but that would have been at the expence of flesh from Shinigami's body... It's a sin to lie to God or Satan for that matter....He would have lied to them both and being an Angel of both Light and Dark... Shinigami...... I couldn't have allowed it.

So there I was.... one of God's LapAngels yet I was restless. I would often sneak down...Even when Duo fell asleep in Hilde's arms because she looked out for him.... I would curl up against him as I used to when we were kids.... I watched him grow old... I watched him die.... The day Shinigami was to take him I awaited at the gates impatiently..... that was the longest day of my life....he never came. Duo... hadn't lived the prefect life yet. I went to God, demanding to know why Duo hadn't come that night. Demanding to know why my love wasn't in heaven..... He had been reborn in America... To live another life without me. Seventy Eight years...... I watched over him, disobeying the codes of ArchAngels and Guardian Angels yet Shinigami never minded... he would come to me and tell me how Duo was doing... for in all those years my love for him hadn't faded in the least...... Angels.... aren't supposed to love mortals. It was my secret... By night I would watch over Duo while he slept... by day I would try to not break Gabriel's heart.

The night that Duo was to die again I sat at the edge of the Gates anxiously.....He never came.... I sat at that gate...... seven hundred and forty two times..... and he still hadn't come. Each time it grew harder and harder to watch Duo live on his life with different people.... each time his life became worse and worse.... I couldn't bare to watch him lose Sister Helen and Father Maxwell anymore.... I couldn't handle watching him date another people... lose Solo... Hilde... Quatre.... Trowa..... Angels....... can cry. But only for certain things.

I...... did something horrible...... In a desperate attempt to save Duo from himself.... There is one item in the world that can alter the fate that God has in store for someone.... One object..... that can reverse time....... I hunted it down in secret. It was Uriel..... who warned me to not pursue it and let Duo live the course of his life.... he was to end up in hell for shelling Shinigami. I couldn't let it happen. After a grave search... I found it.... and slowly easing into Duo's bedroom one night while Shinigami was away.... I kissed a mortal's lips.... An Angel's kiss..... brings immortality.... the Spear of Destiny.. takes evil from someone... but because there was no evil to be taken from Jesus....it only caused sin and chaos.... I thought... since there had been evil brewing in Duo's heart. I could remove it and spare him..... save him from Satan. I..... thought....

The blade went deep quite easily... it was the sharpest tool that anything could have ever made...... it pierced his mortal coil so easily.... and as I watched.... I wrapped my wings around him, cradling him close while red tainted my white feathers and outfit.... Yet my wings stayed pure. My.... intentions were so pure and so self sacrificial to save him..... that I.. wasn't tainted. But I killed a mortal.... I sought out the Spear of Destiny to do so. I went against the words and vows I upheld to God... I disobeyed my ranks and upset the balance of good and evil. The apocalypse that swept over the land like the plague.. killing God's precious mortals was my fault for my blind attempts to save the one soul I loved more than God himself. ....God... was furious that his prized Angel would forsake him.... to save a forbidden soul.... a cursed soul..... a damned soul. Time reversed itself....Shinigami was destroyed and everything started over as the Angels.... including myself had to refight the wars to re-obtain the peace of the planet... of the heavens... of hell. Lucifer and God needed a new Shinigami..... they rebuilt him.

I was sent to Earth again... thinking that was my punishment I lived a perfect life again...... with Duo. I found him... I sought him out in the world.... Something... was a little off about him though. I came back to heaven after dying yet again for Duo... I took a mission instead of him because..... it would have killed him.... God was furious that I had come back to heaven with white wings....He called upon every Angel... every ArchAngel... every Demon and even Lucifer to had a ceremony. I was held down... Tied down in chains and whipped.... Scars that I keep hidden well.... but if another Angel were to ever see me fully naked while I had the barrier spell down....They...would...........They wouldn't even recognize me....

I was whipped.... I remember how much it hurt.... the whips.. the burns... they burned my flesh and then... while I was bleeding before god..... on my knees... God himself... plucked..... every single white feather from my wings until they were nothing but skin at bone. I cried out in pain with each feather plucked. Trembling as the featherless wings twitched.... bleeding from thousands of spots from where they were so violently yanked....One by one.... he crushed the bones..... once every bone... was nothing more than crushed powder in a horrid looking mess... He put his foot to my back..... God dewinged me. God took his hands and grabbed the connections into my shoulder-blades.... and yanked the wings from my back.

There.... is not a more painful feeling in the world... then to be dewinged. Uriel was forced to watch even if she showed mercy and tried to turn away... Michael and Raphael stood on either side of God... while Gabriel..... Gabriel stood before me.... watching me... I could tell....that in Gabriel's heart....I fully deserved this... and so much more.... little did I know... I was banished from heaven.... forced to live for eternity on the Earth that I nerely destroyed to save the one Soul that everyone will forever know his name.... Duo Maxwell.

Once back on earth, I found Duo again..... After he had left the Pilots Academy....The Preventors.... little did he know though.. that I had been Killed in Action and I was an Angel watching over him.... A condemned Angel, but still..... I was now a Fallen Angel. .....He could see me. No Angels were to ever let Mortals see them. I saved him from the hellhole that he had come to, even if he wasn't quite.... the same....

Shinigami came one night while I laid with Duo, thankful to be back in each other's arms before I noticed him. I slowly pulled from Duo to go talk to him..... They remade Shinigami alright..... He.... was Oni-Koi. The Duo I had fallen in love with.... was now the God of Death and it was my fault... I condemned my love to serve eternity TAKING THE DEAD TO HEAVEN OR HELL!

What have I done...?

No wonder... Gabriel, Michael and Raphael did what they did to me....I deserved it.... And Oni-Ko----......Shinigami.... and Duo... will never know why they did that to me.... They will never know that I have damned Duo and condemned my lover.... ....Thousands of years later....I am finally punished for trying to save Duo.... and in the end... I realized that... He would have made it to Heaven.... if I hadn't interfered...


.......I deserved everything...... I deserved the beatings....the whips......being de-winged.....God hates me.... and Gabriel still loves me........ He. He did it because he laughs at me.... that when Duo dies.....I'll... never see him or Shinigami again......


........God please spare me.......

please......

I....beg...of you.....

5/4/05 09:28 am - Somedays It's Just About How You Feel.

Raped of Innocence
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